quiet... ly

well i should be dreaming, or changing my clothes to go on with my day... but i don't!
"baby baby baby look out!"
aqui colgare una de esas tonterias que una vez se me cruzo por la cabeza... y hasta a mi me cuesta armar la idea completa de todos los retazos regados en tantas palabras!

++++++++++++++
call me insane, it won't be new... try me with a game of words and memory, i'll gladly fail... i don't feel like playing and winning today... under my clothes lies the body that have traveled, the body that touched, danced, laughed and cried in the same place for the same person... i should feel relieved, i could stay quiet, i should be working!... but i'd rather write about these silly things that come into my mind when i'm like this... like wanting to fly and play like i'm chasing a very evasive fly
++++++++++++++
escucho una tonada cuyo titulo no conoci hasta hace unos dias... una d las mas deprimentes y sin embargo, que inevitablemnt me lleva a momentos d alegria n mi vida.. y cuiso es el cressendo que tiene en la tonada... maldita cancion... como le llega, sin embarg la escucho y me cuestiono... como diablos llegamos a esto_a esta misma sensacion d conformismo, de quietud y pasividad d esperar a q todo caiga x su propio peso sin hagamos algo cierto para evitarlo_ asi... cual gallina en avícola a punto d ser sacrificada, mirando cabeza abajo como el cuchillo se acerca inexorablemente al cuello para dejarnos en una bicibleteada mientras nos desangramos en ese embudo por el cual bajara nuestra sangre hasta que ... sin bicibleta.. termines en el mismo lugar dond empezamos esa cuestion... al mismo lugar... al mismo lugar d la misma forma... solo que ya sin vida...
caen sobre nosotros.. y que diablos hacemos_en lo que a mi respecta... no gracias, no pienso quedarme aca a ver como esto me consume como a cualquier otra persona.. la miasma es tan seductora y apaciguante "calla cierra los ojos y dejate llevar"... es q para esto existimos___ no gracias, no creo q eso sea todo n la vida... es atroz...y sabes que es lo mas agonico de esta cancion___es que la puesdes poner "ad infinitum"... se repite...y repite.. y repite... un loop que puedes disponer sin parar una y otra vez, una y otra vez ... un ciclo que se da sin atisbo de evolucion ni cambio y asi empieza, cuando ya crees que va acabar... empieza de la misma manera... agonico...mil veces prefiero oir skokiian... y ahi voy no me dejare ahogar en esta estupida tonada... no otra vez, ah si... esa stupida tonada era "el amor es triste" de paul mauriat... dioses... que agonico... en serio... q horrible agonia... ciertamente me da mas fuerzas para huir de aqui para salir de aqui...
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hey! eso fue lo de un par d dias... requiero ayuda profesional o q? conste q hasta ahora a nadie he matado, eh?

recording on my feet

part 1 ...
it's just a case, just another fella to check on and say good bye
i thought so... and i came into the scene... ruthless plan, kind and smiling... let the games being
so we started... without secrets but strategy on the field... unconscious movements to do not let my game be noticed... and it falls, like a fly from the icy wall...
catch it between my fingers and wonder... how the hell did you let yourself get into this? while i drop it into a pocket and walk away like nothing happened there...

+_+

so here we're...
claiming steps i thought were forgotten but hey!, they're here and with one of the most influent characters i've met... that fella who made up a whole character for himself, just changing a name and building this role out of his own, a "person" loved and hated and above all, unforgettable... Freddie Mercury
oh well, i thought i'd be writting about something else by now but i can't help it with "Barcelona" in the air... "somedaaaay"...
so it looks like he lived like he wanted but ... why... how ... it looked like excess is not a good source for long lasting happiness... can't buy me love, can't buy me happiness, can't buy me the peace of mind i require for a 2hours (at least) of good dream... good sleep...
even though, it's especulation... for i never knew the person, only the character... just this lovely singer, amazing composer, astonishing frontman and well, that side the world knew... oh! let's not forget the unstoppable party animal!
anyway... going back to the (theoretically) main reason for me writting now... which, after 3 minutes staring at the video of "Golden Boy"... i can't remember... well, whatever... i've written something about something i care about so... that's all folks 4 today! be good! :D

tell me a joke

donde estaria no me encontraria... quien fuera que avisara equivocado estaria
valdrian 4 minutos, quizas con 12 segundos mas, tan solo para llegar a la dolorosa conclusion que ahí no me encontraría... los designios del mundo conjuraron que eso no sería de otra forma
y así se luchó contra dicha circunstancia pero, oh, como dirían algunos, se necesitan 2 para bailar tango, así como para arreglar una situación que implica a más de una persona... así es como todo aun se estanca, se hunde, se sume en el profundo mar de "no molestes que no es"
y me quedo sin palabras, la sensación de "que diantres espera la gente" en el aire mientras mi cuerpo ya da el giro, esa media vuelta (o 3/4 para ser precisos) guiándome de regreso a mi ruta...
suelta en plaza, quién sale a jugar con este toro? no será el por hoy, nadie sera el valiente por hoy, asaltare la calle, las casas y me ire a descansar a la copa de un arbol, tan sólo para variar

clash

escucho lo que no deberia, pienso lo que debi ignorar... las ideas rodean las conclusiones para hacerla quebrar, para hacerla cambiar...una simple conversacion, bastante honesta de por si, alguien dijo mi nombre, yo dije el nombre de alguien... al rato coqueteando con esa posibilidad "enterrada" años atras... y que al parecer seguira 3 m bajo la tierra del olvido a pesar que los espiritus actuan pareciendo hacerla despertar... kisses are given, not taken... so one was given, and a few more taken... but after that something started, a door, which seemed locked and destroyed before it was able to be opened, left a little light to escape over the day which didn't started to show any sign of sun...so once again, something was asked, something was given... something happened and it seemed to be over... and it was asked to be again, and it was given once more, that happened and it seemed it was even... but both asked to be again, so more was give again, silhouettes in the dark, without names, without words of care... just actions which might have said a lot, but was it understood? i haven't been able to read minds for a while so i don't know...and it happened more than twice... and it seems that, this was the last time, even though, it was said before, it was sworn before... will it be fulfilled? hopefully my dear... hopefully.

por q no me deja... reaccionar

y es de esas estupideces que uno hace de cuando en cuando, esas tonterias que son agradables tonterias y por ello las comete una y otra y otra vez...
en un hipnotizante momento las cosas empezaron, cartas en la mesa con la franqueza de una resaca despues de mezclar con desgracia cerveza y ron indistintamente (oh si, "no vuelvo a tomar!")... pero en fin... asi sucedio, se ejecuto, se repitio, se "juro" no repetir, y se repitio... y se juro... y se repitio y sacando la extrapolacion de la funcion dibujada... facil se repetira HAHAHAHAHA en fin

intoxicandome con Estopa en los oidos... aaah esa voz maldicion por la cual olvidaria lo que a veces prometo no olvidar, aunque sea por un segundo... vagando en ideas y quimeras posibles ... asaltando la inseguridad de algunas personas que vienen con preguntas que empiezan con "y si?" y "si hubiera"... wandering alone, just like i should, as much as i could... as far as i can as far as i'd like... no one to hold me to some place, with my heart on its place and my mind over my feet and keeping a good mood... one to remember, one for the road, n there i go

once upon a time...

there was this friend of mine who wouldn't say or stare any longer, always in mistery and a kind look... always calm, always cool
we used to get together, for it was pack what we made, 4 of us gathering around a table just to learn and play... days passed by, months went aside... no more than 40 times we did it, no more than 40 times that i can recall... but there's something i never said, it was how important he became to me... and i won't forget those days, when like a duty we'd meet, around the table on friday noon, with our cards, with our games, with our friends just for a while...
we went on separate ways, and i, stupidly, strayed my path, and when i found my feet again, all of them were far enough to get together again... so far we're all on different places with different goals, we might be away from each other, we might never meet again... but even when he doesn't read this... he might know, yes he knows, that i will never forget those games... ThanX for being who you are!

sneakin

wandering to track my own steps which leaded me here
walking drawing circles that might not take me back in time... but i remember... i recall
once i thought i could hide
once i thrive for anything but my own life
and once... once... i realised i couldn't escape from reality... so far i can't find any exit... so i'm going much deeper and deeper to reach somewhere unknown at least

n never fear

so this is it... staring at the screen and recalling this morning's phrase "i just wanted to talk with one of the few single guys i know and trust that i can talk to me without fear" (and it was an excuse)... loneliness, persistent loneliness... i haven't felt this before as far as i remember but i admit this is not the first time i feel like this, in fact, i felt like this before i started to date the first guy i dated and since then it's been like 7 years dating someone after another, illusion after illusion until i found myself standing on something true, my own being, the only one i can trust day/night/extra-time always there for me, just myself... at least now i don't have that stupid fear of being alone... the stupid insecurity of not being able to stand on my own, to fail, to fall, to make a mistake and not being able to admit it, to not be "perfect" anymore... so stupid, using a mascarade just for myself trying to lie the only one who's 24/7 with me, my own conscience...
now i know this, and at some point i wonder how i could have been so stupid for falling for such stupid guys when i knew i shouldn't have trusted them as much as i did... innocence broken
my eyes seem a little more angry, now with a little more of bitterness of life... like a song said "your eyes are torn of so much crying"... i've cried enough and i don't have to do it anymore, there are good reasons to stand up each day... and the first one for me to do it is myself... since i'm the core of what i know i think that if i want this world to get better i'd better start from myself, uh? just walking over the sick line of egocentrism and insanity... i won't fall, as far as i can find something good inside

track 001

this is a bunch of lines dedicated to an artist
Annie Lennox
I remember listening her back in the 90's (Why, such an awesome song!)... now that i'm paying more attention to her and some interviews... hell! this woman is great!... my respect, her music, her job, she's outstanding and a prove of taking risks and achieving goals regardless of how crazy or unprobable they might sound or look when you're starting to dream about them
Amazing, inspiring, unforgettable... those are the words for this person :D

what about you

i've talked with my 2 ex-es... and each time i've done it i can't help this feeling... of .... how the hell did i get involved with those stupids??? anyway... they're the past (thank you!) and now i'm a lot much better (til now they seem to be with the same routine they had when i left them)... some people moves... some stay where they're... in some way, i'm moving, i might me stuck with my career but personally i've grown up these last 2 years and it helps a lot in my career, is it worth an engineer who can't make up their mind on their projects? even in their own lives??? anyway... it's my track, and so far, their lifes are not my bussiness anymore (in fact, never were)